He wouldn't know what to do with his penis even if they made a "how to get a blowjob for dummies" guide
I need to write the inventor of adderall a thank you note stapled to a copy of my degree
Cumming on a girls face is guy code for you're not wife material.
its all coming back to me in waves....waves of humiliation and nausea.
No dude trust me, just go a strip club at their busiest hours and pick the ugliest chick. Guaranteed she blows you for under 20$, the record stands at $7.67 and a pen from Bank of America,
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
I just found that video of you jumping onto my exercise ball feet-first and face-planting into my shoe rack.
Will you judge me if i do shots in my basement closet first? No? Okay good
the mexican frat downstairs started singing this mariachi song, then out of nowhere some dude busts out a trumpet and plays along. is this even real?
Best line overheard at the bar: "This is the last time I'm shaving my ass for him...I mean we just broke up".
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
If your gig isn't over in 30 minutes I am coming on that stage to come on your dick.
Ah, but I don't wear underwear. Every day is Commando Wednesday.
I can't believe I'm going to buy bitcoin to pay for erection pills
I just wish he would stop trying to bring his emotional baggage into our sexual relationship.
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