in hindsight, drinking 2 bottles of wine probably wasnt going to put me in an optimal position for a job interview
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
He lit his shirt on fire at the bar by putting a lit cigarette in the pocket to "save for later."
I probably wouldn't hook up with him if I had to deal with more than his penis. i think cumulatively we are up to a minute of actual conversation this week.
Well at least the house will be decorated when u get evicted.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
Dear god. Please. Please do NOT deprive yourself of dick for 90 days. Blood will spill. Wolverines will howl. I can't handle that kind of terror.
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
At some point he mentioned fried rice and take out... I don't think we know how sexting works
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
Weird, Jen didn't know mixers were solely for coloring purposes. Don't call me an alcoholic because you're uneducated
I think the sex rug burn on my back is infected, can you check it out when you get home?
Well it might’ve been because you asked to play What Makes You Beautiful at the club
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
Are you drinking tequila at 1pm? ...at Disneyland?
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