i need a penis for penetration, you wont do.
oh yeah... my b.
OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
Its only.eleven and we are already chasing a man on a bike with a bag full of burger king
Seriously just confirmed via our bathroom scale that a keg weighs 170lbs
I will pee on everything he values.
Lets just say...I plan on being a bigger shitshow than Miley Cyrus at the VMA'S
all i know is there's a picture on my phone of him wearing my purple sweatpants and licking the bottom of my foot.
I dunno I mean I feel like I owe everyone an apology except the two people I punched in the face
Just in case the world ends tomorrow, I have an emergency contact group of booty calls I can send a quick "let's fuck" to before I die.
ill dress up as a sperm donor and you can go as the cup....
Wine and a Lunchable. That would be depressing if it wasn't the pepperoni and mozzarella one. Those are the shit!
So it's official...my sex life has improved since Pokemon came out...
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Randomize
