Fuck you I wanted that fabulous flaming homo to win american idol...its like we lost the gay marriage vote...again
everything was goin great until he pulled out his ed hardy lighter and smoked in my face like he was cool.
it's like you attract all the douchebags that nobody wants. people should thank you.
one more question, do you know why i woke up with 5 pounds of quarters, nickels and dimes in my pocket?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
Either I need to stop bringing you back to my apt or I need to stop buying ikea furniture
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
Oh boy...do i want the 'something you can tell your mom in 10 yrs' version or the 'Im gonna call you a whore but be proud' version?
For months it was all good and well just having sex. Now, something in me has snapped and I'm dreaming of taking turtleneck Christmas pictures with him. Fuck you, we're going out tonight. I need this.
Hung over and there is no way in the world I can make this mess look good today. Only solution is to stay drunk.
A man just sang Jennifer Lopez to me out his car window. I am not sure how I feel about this, but it is not positively.
That was the night I realized I need to grow up and stop eating mushrooms with strange 40 year old men in convertibles.
I learned so much in Pittsburgh
It was get out of line and go pee and get no beef briskit. Or stay in line, pee my pants, but have beef briskit. I really wanted my beef briskit
I was taking a nap and she comes in wo/ pants, gets up on the bed and mounts my face while watching Weeds on Netflix. I'm okay with it, but at least let me wake up first.
day drinking didnt prepare me for this..
“On a break” is implied when it’s a Russian chick dressed as Black Widow wearing Minnie Mouse ears
Randomize
