ASIANS HAVE SEX TOO!! I just watched it happen in the library.
Your excuse of not making us Mac and cheese was that you couldn't find 6 cups of water...
Balls are wasted. Waste are ballsted. Ballsd wasted
one minute he's happily playing with a lighter and the next thing I know, he's screaming and the swing set is on fire
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
I literally stopped banging her when my ESPN app alerted me that the Spurs had won. That's how much I hate Lebron. I would rather watch him cry in the post game interviews than get it in
she paid $15 and a box of cheerios for their acid
Dude. She was wearing nothing but Wonder Woman panties and a flag for a cape and sneaking around leaving PBR's by passed out people for the morning. She called herself the 'Merica Fairy.
Why haven't you proposed already?
Also I feel like death. But like. In a good way
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
sorry for any reference made toward your boobs or making you feel pregnant or incapable of peeing. make it a wonderful day.
Periods are much less exciting when you're not sexually active.
Randomize
