he is fucking friends with his exwife on facebook, but he defriends me after 3 dates? am i that crazy?
Her vagina should come with caution tape.
I've now graduated to the level of gay where I can tell Tegan and Sara apart.
we were boning in the bathroom when her boyfriend came upstairs. I wish i could remember what happened next more clearly, because it had to have been hilarious
It was all going great until he pulled the hamburger meat out of his pocket
He wore my sunglasses on his honeymoon..... so there's that.
I ordered a million chicken go wraps and they gave me five. Even when im drunk I can count to a million and know its not five. They fucked me.
We pretended the crowd cheering the Thunder's win was cheering for us while we had sex on the couch.
Today I found out that my boss keeps a breathalyzer on his desk for just these sort of shenanigans
Steve watched craig and I have sex from the top level of his cat tower this morning.
I told him that I wanted his dick like I wanted a jumbo hot dog. There something wrong with my priorities
We were supposed fuck one time, but ended up fucking for 2 years.
Idk... he wears anklets.. i dont think i can get past that.
You gotta have 1 orgasm for me and the rest can be for you. I'm living vicariously through you 😂
immediately after sex he started talking to me about nerdy stuff he meant to text me earlier, I'm completely smitten
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