Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
My balls are about to become a huge part of your mouth's life
Any time you start making pro wrestling references before 10 PM I know that I'm breaking up a fight between you and some muscled up frat boy you call Hogan.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
you just started pointing at the light and whispering "star wars"
Someone changed my text signature to "Also, I think I might be gay" last night. Also, I think I might be gay
relax...and go to your happy place, which probably has a lot of dicks
nothing says "we're all in this together" like the herpes she passed around to our entire group of friends
Although last time you were unsure about someone they flipped a golf cart on me.
Three things I need a picture of: your friend, your bong, and your dick.
Yea he called the cop officer fonzarelli and asked him if he was mad because happy days was off the air. Boom, beaten and arrested
Life just isn't the same without him waking me up at 4 in the afternoon with a look of pity on his face...
HELP! How do I get paint off the dog?
the worst part about living alone is not having other peoples snacks to mooch off of when you havent gone grocery shopping in three weeks. i'm so pms-y i'm about to eat a soy sauce packet
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