There was an extended period of my adolescent life where my friends and I would get high, drive around in my minivan listening exclusively to the wu tang clan, and intentionally crash into snowbanks
I love how its suddenly "not all about sex" now that he can't get it up
I saw a girl walking around campus with bandages on both her knees. I need to get her number.
Turns out they use me as an example of What Not To Do at freshman orientation. My little brother told me.
bikini waxes are so much more painful when you know you're not getting laid
Woke up this morning on my couch at 6am fully dressed including heels, holding half a corn dog. I called you last night when I was buying the corn dog from a street vendor, I think.
I am in love with you.
She just gave me a free latte.
Correction. She just have you a frothy, creamy path to that vagina.
It was like bizarre-o star trek. I shamefully went where every man has gone before.
at first i was on the bathroom floor cuz i was hungover. now im just here because it is cool
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
I have a physical this friday. On a scale from 1-10, 10 being the most judgemental gay bashing, how much judgement am I gonna get from my dr when he checks my balls and sees the cherry tattoo
The profile of her ass is just unreal. Weird way to use profile I know, but never more accurate
Can't really tell your Mom you are moody due to dick deprivation.
Its guy fieris flavor town of suffering™
I know how to kill a man with nutmeg and a sword. You in?
Or nah
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