So A**** bought my story about how my hickey was a bruise from wrestling
on one hand i'm glad that i'm not in trouble...on the other hand i realized that the reason i cheat on her is because she is so stupid
i would only ever fuck harry potter if he was on a broomstick.
I just saw someone marching around outside wearing only a loincloth, dragging a fuckton of sheet metal. Spring has Sprung.
i dodnt think we hooked up bcause he actually texted me the next day
They had to restock the bar 3 times before midnight. There is a bridesmaid dress hanging in a tree outside.
I am unable to type or say "unprotected, receptive anal sex" with a straight face. clearly, HIV was a poor research paper topic choice.
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Is putting "Tonight I'm Fucking You" on my date playlist too forward?
She curled up in the corner, screamed "THE BLANKET IS SO WARM" and promptly passed out with her face in the dogbed. No one bothered to reposition her.
You tried to bite my nipple like 3 times
NAh son
Just general bites
If you ever insult pizza rolls again, I will dragon kick you in the throat
It is a bad day indeed when you learn that your boy toy looks better in your dresses than you do
Nah, i wasn't offended. Having a bridesmaid who you had had multiple threesomes with your future husband would be weird.
Can you explain the Transformers set up for battle in my living room?
I might have to quit marching band. It's affecting my drinking schedule
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