What would Jesus do? ... Jesus would slap a ho.
we just saw you getting yelled at by the cops for trying to 'hijack' a street sweeper...how have you not been arrested yet?
Nope she woke up in a hotel room alone on 55th street. A guy in a lamborgini gave her a ride this morning. She was walking barefoot home
I told him I had AIDS after he bit me. His dad cried. I think I just ruined the little guy's 3rd birthday, but he had in coming.
I'll get him an axe as a present. So he can break out of his closet. That axe being my penis.
i don't knpow whats goin on i think theyre sacrificeing me to th tequila gods
trust me. coming from a bonafide dirtbag, this dude is up to shady shit
His legs actually look hot in that dress. He might even make a better girl than Josh
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
We left the bar and you kept yelling "ONWARD SCION, TO GLORY!!"
I don't remember much and some girl almost convinced me to jump off the bridge while she held my stuff...
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just don't wanna be that girl with no ride and no pants
When I met you, I was just like "who the fuck is this drunk chick throwing up on my bed?" But I'm glad we're friends now
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