): 100 percent naked, unless you count a tiara as clothing.
i keep walking around campus wondering if anyone is as stoned as i am
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
i dont care if it was her birthday. if she leaves me with a half rack of budweiser and her boyfriend obviously shits gonna go down.
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
My hope for you over spring break is that you can be some disease free girl's random spring break mistake.
I have random bruises including my spine and visible bite marks on my neck. Thanksgiving car sex accomplished.
Just killed a snake in my bed! And by killed I mean hit repeatedly with my fist. And by snake I mean a lump in the covers. And I pissed my pants.
We were kinda loud so his roommate woke up and to make up for it he invited him to a threesome. I can't drink whiskey anymore.
My gynecologist just said "don't worry, this won't be as hard as…well…" A FUCKING SEX JOKE NO
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Apparently she hired a private investigator when he took out a restraining order on her. So the answer is no, I didn't hit it.
So you can now add nose to my list of places that cum has gone that it shouldn't...
snapping my married booty call and next thing I know a plan b ad pops up
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