You're a womanizer and a bitch.
Small penises have feelings too.
They should make Glad Forceflex condoms.
I need to stop researching the drugs I do on Wikipedia. The parts about abuse and dependency hit too close to home
No subtext here. People are naked.
I can hear my liver begging me not to go out tonight
Just had a serious bathroom emergency at walmart a and it appears that i ate a taco bell burrito wrapper last night
blew off easter dinner with the fam to go play shot roulette. woke up in nothing but my boxers in the back of a random pickup truck.
I brought ur friend Scotty home... He started rubbing my crotch then fell down and passed out in front of the microwave
Any chance the bar is open now? Also who's wedding is this?
I am sure I don't wanna know but I have to ask... Why is there a kiddie pool full of jello in the living room?
I swear to God if you fuck my cousin I will fuck your dad.
I just need to get a little drunker before I realize I'm not straight
Just so you know, you called at 2 last night and kept making me tell you that I loved you and then when you got home you thanked me for walking you home. Incase you forgot, I'm still about 200 miles away.
Soooo you're telling me you support us groom's men giving lap dances to willing patrons?
Randomize
