i nerd-gasmd. plain and simple.
This is a drunk text message. I am so glad that we are friends. Tomorrow we will eat sandwiches in miniature. We both love dogs. Flower.
I think "I actually like giving blow jobs better" qualifies her as a keeper
just found out they live across the street from coke dealers... rethinking the new years resolution
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
I drank butter last night, who am I to judge?
Two hot shots of tequila for breakfast? Yeah today is gonna be a shit show
Even dream me is a champ at smoking weed
No he's great. He's trying to do "sexy stuff" for me now, which is pretty hilarious. He stirred my daiquiri with his penis last night. He also tied a bouquet of flowers around it.
You can't have your cake and publicly stick your dick in it too
I have fence marks all over my body
I pulled you and a keg around in a wagon for like five hours and apparently everyone else remembers it but us.
CRAIGSLIST IS NOT THE ANSWER
IM LONELY AND HORNY
you don't need to worry about using proper grammar if you're asking for the size of his dick.
Here's a rundown of my night alone. Danced my ass off in the kitchen to FleetmacWood. Drank a little bit. Ordered $40 worth of Chinese food once the drinks kicked in. Picked up said Chinese in dirty sweatpants and slippers. #livinglife
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