I met the friendliest cop last night
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
i signed up to donate 10 dollars a month to help the children that are being displaced in columbia because of the drug wars.. i felt obligated
I just decorated my birth control case with Lisa Frank stickers. If that doesn't scream 'I'm not ready for babies' I don't know what does.
So I realized I'm not completely sober when the automatic toilet flushed and I screamed
Uggh answer your phone, you are the only one I know who'll be proud of what I woke up next to this morning .
don't forget friday is see who can get the most free drinks at the gay bar contest. winner gets $50
Had sex with him again...yikes. and the whole time he kept saying "i wish we could do this forever." Forever lasted about 45 seconds
Now that we have successfully procreated, I need to know we are on the same page. Please tell me you are aware that there are whole seasons of our lives that our child can NEVER be made privy to.
We should probably write this down. That's a shit load of shit.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I was using my Beauty and the Beast blanket as a makeshift skirt because no pants
We were making fun of some people having sex on the beach, an hour later we were having sex on a golf course
Hey can you send me a pic of your breast with a peace sign in the photo? I'm trying to win a scavenger hunt contest. Thanks so much
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
Plan b and 5 hour enegery breakfast of a champion
Randomize
