I think it's just because she's got "I'll sleep with anyone with a decent car" written all over her face.
he kept refering to his penis as the "eternal sunshine"
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
I'm doing shots of crown out of a baby bottle. My friends are sensational parents.
That poor kid, I literally invited myself over and took advantage of him.
yea I'm sure he was really upset some drunk girl showed up to fuck him.
Do you have to put it that way?
I was just tagged in a picture with a bunch of people i don't know in a house i don't recognize wearing a purple cowboy hat and a boa...i hate tequila
Do you ever wonder what the men who we shamelessly objectify would think if they saw our texts in regard to them?
I learn from experience and I experienced what it would be like to completely lose my mind and then wake up with a stab wound.
I was ok with it until you started yelling " just the tip!" I know she's you gf but don't backseat drive the three-way.
I almost stopped mid bj to let him know I appreciated his balls being nice to look at/have my face near. But I didn't know if that would ruin, or improve the moment.
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
You pee in parking lots....i drive home naked.....thats the american dream i was promised
She ripped her shorts off and yelled "VAGINA TIME!"
Congratulations on giving me my first and second hickeys last night. I made it almost 30 years without one, but who needs class these days?
Got electrocuted a second ago, is it weird that I have a boner?
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