You want looks pregnant, is pregnant, or the one with a kid.
While I'm in the bathroom taking a piss you think of a way to get us the hell out of here.
I would kind of like a job that starts at 10:30 and i'll work til 7. I'm not very productive in the morning. My main focus is not puking from 9-11.
somehow we got the entire party to start singing "ill make a man out of you" from mulan. needless to say, that kid had the best keg stand i'd ever seen.
There comes a time in every girls life when she must use her boobs for good instead of evil.
Your pregnant arnt you
Pushiiing vjews 4 ma daz caik
Lyk hr kuds 4
Pretty sure the purpose of joining wine clubs isn't to drink the 2 bottles they send you each month IN THE SAME NIGHT.
So I'm sitting at my desk and Thunderstruck came on my iPod. I then proceeded to drink coffee every time I heard thunderstruck. Who says you don't remember anything from college?
I'd rather not be labeled as that girl who came over, drank a bunch of their alcohol, woke up the 5 year old, broke shit and left
Yeah, tell that to my thumb. Cause it was up my ass all night waiting for you.
White girls? They're everywhere. In packs. Drunk white girl packs.
He literally said I should watch game of thrones while I was blowing him like is this the conversation you want to be having right now
The single life is the freaking dream dude. I'm sitting here naked, eating chocolate mousse, and watching Gilmore girls. It's wonderful
You owe me a one night stand and a line. Possible an inflatable flamingo as well. And a caesar salad.
You is single now. The world is your ass buffet.
The REAL engagement ring is the jeweled butt plug.
Randomize
