you kept singing the copa cabana and saying HAVE A BANANA to random people on the street. you also went up to this poor short guy and hugged him while proceeding to yell I LOVE YOU CHILD MAN into his face. please tell me you're sober now
Check that he is NOT ok. He just heated up SoCo and used it as syrup on his pancakes.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I'm going to die alone in a sea of empty vodka bottles and cats.
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
1. Are there men involved 2. Is there food involved 3. Do I have to put pants on 4. Do I have to leave this bed
Remind me not to get naked underneath a tree I'm allergic to again.
Wanna hang out? my DILF had to dip out for his sons little league game
I had so much drainage I couldn't moan properly. Fuck allergy season
How was the party last night?
I'm dangerously close to shitting myself.
I asked him if he wanted a pillow, and he replied "No. Batman never had pillows."
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
She has that type of face she reminds me of that weird girl from napoleon dynamite only taller and with hoop earrings.
I think I'm dead. Also I think I stole $20 from a stripper.
You did. Then gave it to me.
we can no longer cook chicken in the house. his name is herbert, we are keeping him and can not eat his people in front of him.
Randomize