Worst part was I had to fart super bad and didn't want to ruin the room so I farted in a pillow and threw it under the bed.
i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
You peed for a solid 5 minutes last night and turned around halfway through to give everyone watching a thumbs up
Defiantly just threw away our yearly bottle collection in front of the campus tour. The school should pay me for recruitment
repeat this after me. period at the beach is better than baby at the beach. breathe. and: period at the beach is better than baby at the beach.
booty call hours are between 1:30-3:00 AM thurs-sat with the exception of major drinking holidays and election days. please try again
Around noon tomorrow come looking for me. I'll be on Mill wearing whatever clothes I haven't lost yet. DO NOT REPLY. DO NOT ASK QUESTIONS. JUST DO IT.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Forgot my sound was off and didnt even realize it until halfway through because I thought I could hear it. I think high me just narrated half a clip of adventure time
My sober self will be embarrassed tomorrow. For now I am laughing my ass off.
Anyone who has court these next few days keep your head up & smile knowing we broke the County Record with 27 underage consumptions
hitting rock bottom is getting taziki in your hair & simply putting it in a bun instead of actually dealing with it, just like your problems
You're always so late and I'm always so drunk.
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
He accepted my bet of 5 bucks to bike home completely naked. Never got asked about the 5 bucks, guess he enjoyed it too much
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