I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
So she comes up to me at the end of the night and asks me if I going to take her home and fuck her. I pretty much had to right?
you had an obligation.
At this point do you think buying mom a pot plant would be funny or highly inappropriate?
By the way, we're gonna have to get a new rug for the livingroom i kinda started ours on fire...
Did you really get 12 corn dogs from the gas station last night?
I fell asleep in the bathroom during my mothers dinner party with no pants on. Her friend walked In. I was told to not come back.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
Watching Supernatural does more for me sexually than the physical encounters with 90% of the men in my life.
literally who communicates this much post-hookup why r u like this
Happy 4 year arrest-aversary! I promise no thanksgiving has been as eventful as that one haha..
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
i don't care if you are my best friend. does not give you the right to describe how well my sister gives blowjobs.
how about your cousin?
I don't think there's a ladylike way to tell this guy I want to sit on his face
Ha. Yeah that's all I found you with this morning. Butt ass naked w my robe across your lap and your arms thrown back in handcuff position.
Randomize
