so i had sex last night with my 12th partner, but hes number 1 for my first time using a condom. i think im finally learning.
Went to the career fair today..I handed out many resumes to find out later that they say I have a bachelor o farts degree...Top that.
we'll go far in life on tits alone.
there are two kinds of girls in this world: my mom, and sluts.
I just got a new temperpedic mattress pad and started smoking weed again in the same week. finding motivation to go to a 9:AM class is close to impossible.
To do list: put blue gatorade in a windex spray bottle. spray it into my mouth in public so people think i'm drinking windex.
Is it going to be one of those nights where I shouldn't wear my contacts so everyone looks more attractive?
Pregaming before going to drink with a girl from Russia. Please make sure I'm not dead in the morning.
that's just what you get for learning massage techniques from gay porn
He won't let me go to the bars unless I can manage to get flip flops on.
Sounds like he's doing this for your own good...
. Drop what your doing. Were going to Knoxville for midget wrestling. It's the championship.we can NOT miss this.
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
I work nights. I sleep in. I take online classes. And fuck bad bitches. I'd say those are some perks to grad school.
But I'm currently thinking of all my bad decision making last night and giving myself a time out.
We have a great relationship based on communication, sex, and mutual loathing.
Randomize
