I keep pulling short curlies out of my mouth. Not cool
well, if it gives you any insight into how crazy it was, i am currently wikipediaing "anullment"
I didn't realize how hung over I was until I rolled over and the world rolled over with me.
The only pictures he has from one of the biggest football weekends is an album titled "I miss my dog" filled with tons of pictures of his dog and him. This relationship must end.
just got dressed up for chatroulette- THAT desperate.
according to the contents of this bucket, last night i swallowed a whole teabag
He left me a five minute voicemail apologizing for chasing me with a meat beater. I'm actually not sure what that means.
She broke both of her ankles trying to jump off the balcony. it's like every time she drinks she makes even more impressively bad decisions than the last time
I walked in on you eating olive oil off of a plate. you gave me this look and I just started crying. we were that drunk.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Pro: She likes to masturbate to 50 shades of grey. Con: She reads 50 Shades of grey non-ironically.
I think the worst part about being a real adult is 1)having a high stress job that makes me want to get stoned 2)paying for reefer using my own money 3)realizing my boyfriends children probably have more weed connections than I do anymore
Currently putting together my outfit for this weekend, AKA a poster board that says "I'll cook you breakfast and do all your laundry, take me home." On front and back
Who put my cat in the fridge?
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
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