I typed "housewife" into monster.com's search engine....I got zero results...kinda bummed
The walk of shame isn't so shameful when you do it in a stolen, autographed Favre jersey.
I made him tell me how he proposed to his wife before I'd bang him. I have a problem.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
What was the name of the cook I had sex with at Famous Dave's?
Sex on roller skates
Floating mattress
Tie
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
I know how to make vodka btw in case you want to come over and do a science project
Just so you know my hand is still healing from where you drunkenly clawed me last Saturday
It's funny that when I fall down as an adult I'm so much happier no one saw than that I'm not seriously hurt.
honestly my period and I are just as surprised to see each other every month
I'm sorry I tried to stab you. I just really wanted those mozerella sticks.
He saw my Halloween/ Costume closet and assumed I’m into cosplay. I’m going with it. What’s sexier, a cop or a nurse?
Randomize
