Dude she has a fucking rock collection. Never will I ever talk to her again.
Just farted cum and thought I shit myself. Crisis averted tho
We found him pissing on the sidewalk in his socks signing the national anthem. I love you summer.
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
we are playing family charades. my sister pointed at me. everyone guessed alcoholic.
Look you found him on craigslist. You should be happy that he at least HAS a normal looking dick.
This weekend was suppose to be a 'smoke weed and stare at things' weekend. Not a 'spend all my rent money partying with Europeans till 8 am' weekend
Yeah but those French chicks did get naked
i ordered a pipe on amazon, and under recommended items, it gave me a top hat. it knows me better than my parents.
Mom brought home a 36 pack of Smirnoff and was all "ring any bells?" and then winked. I'm scared. What does she know?
it went ok. then he slept in a parking lot and took me out for a picnic the next day. boys are confusing.
Everything is just really out of control. I hear puking from three different parts of the house. Roger has black eye from being punched. Kaiser tried shaving his head, but somehow burned himself. Music is bumping, but everyone is either puking and calling out for help or blacked the fuck out.
I have to sanitize my nipples and its just to cold in here for it to be ok
I am 5' 11" of pure, uncut Fuck Off right now.
Also either i just launched into space as a rocket or my legs just orgasmed, but i am high as a soul train
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