I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
We've reached that awkward stage of the relationship where he's in love with me when he's drunk, but sober him is still afraid of commitment.
There needs to be a newsfeed for phones... A list of all my drunken calls, texts, BBMs, new contacts, pictures sent AND received, all in chronological order.
at least you got your priorties in line. new years first, than the baby.
Just caught my first cougar this fake was worth every fucking penny.
And then he told me he just wanted me to hold his cock while we watched tv...
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
July fourth my place, drunken bubble slip n slide. Yes this is happening and yes I am 31
He is like a dragon that makes me want to spread my butt cheeks, so he can fill me with hot fire.
She came out of my bathroom wearing nothing but high top Converse, a leather jacket and a tongue stud. I love rock bars.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
well apparently i sat in the bathroom staring in the toliet at my vomit. it was blue. how was your night?
You told me not to tell you found out you're pregnant..
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
Randomize
