Last-second stop at the drug store for lube and condoms. Clerk said "So uhmmm...that's a done deal, huh?"
High five!
What did we do last night that was yellow?
Yeah. I woke up naked in his bed this morning and remember saying "Get a condom cuz I can't afford an abortion right now" last night. He didn't run. He's a keeper
Marriage: a sacred union between one man and one woman, and another woman in Argentina.
And this is weird.. I feel slightly less depressed after shitting myself.
I have no idea what i drank..i remember dancing and ass grabbing..u falling. Headbutts. Trying not to puke. And deja vu.
I got my parents high. They've been watching spongebob for six hours. You cannot tell me I'm not the favorite
Throwing up while listening to pandora radio. Don't tell me my life doesn't have theme music.
He gave me his number and said the usual call whenever you need someone but then was like... or just call me.
You would pick up a guy in AA.
Should you consider yourself out of control when everyone at the party is cheering you on while you're puking, and on the last heave you act like you're rolling dice right before the finale???
But on the up side she uprooted a whole peony plant from the hotel downtown and said, "I brought you flowers"
that's like... drinking popov and saying its the worlds best vodka. you gotta try some others first. THERE SHOULD BE A MISS AMERICA PAGEANT. but like, mr penis. and they can do tricks and make unintelligent remarks and wear sparkly condoms.
But seriously who drew a dick on a tortilla and nailed it to the door?
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
it was the kind of sex that I don't even know how my hair extentions are still in
Randomize
