i'm starting to get pissed at how pandora is trying to force coldplay on me
The mall is playing a fucking country mix of lady marmalade.
welcome to maine.
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
i don't even specifically remember last night, it's just one big wonderful lesbianic blur.
Just saw a cougar do the walk of shame. She asked housekeeping where the fastest elevator was.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
I'm sorry, you might have to start setting aside some time in your day for my pussy.
I feel like he has a double life, why was he walking around at 3 am with a backpack?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I threw a dessert topping at a baby tonight so drink up! If you stay sober tonight I will be very disappointed in you.
I'm going to start using the hurricane naming system for my hangovers. Hangover Agatha is a real bitch today.
A boy in some branch of the military kissed me I think I'm going through an American sniper phase
We just had can't-look-you-in-the-eye sex and it was still surprisingly good
Blacked in cold and wet, with them areound me singing Aaaaall we are saaaaayiiiing is YOU PEED YOUR PANTS
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
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