yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
Dude, TWO hot chicks on jeopardy tonight. gonna be a good one
Dude, I am so turned on right now. Hot chick with glasses from brooklyn is absolutely crushing right now, taking whole categories. might beat off to jeapordy...
do another line during during the commercial and make the magic happen during double jeopardy.
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
The timing couldn't have been better if I planned it. His mom walked away, I vomited in their mulch, and then his mom came back and offered me bread.
just start off by saying "hey, i cockblocked my friend last night and need to make it up to him, could you help?"
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
I call BS on that! THAT WAS TOTALLY AN INTERCEPTION. JENNINGS HAD THAT.
PEOPLE ARE FLIPPING FURNITURE HERE. IN THE ROOM ABOVE ME. I HEARD SOMEONE WOOKIE CALL IN ANGER FROM SOMEWHERE IN THIS BUILDING.
I'd be lying if I said I wasn't scared, even a little.
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Oh yeah and one of the strippers brought you chips and water when you were passes out next to the toilet. So that was nice
whose parrot is this?
it was so good i reconsidered my staunch atheism
Remember when I got punched in the face on NYE last year? I don't
That's when I realized I was probably naked in the wrong bed
Hey when you get home, can you do me a solid and throw one of your pregnancy tests on my bed?
EPT or First Response?
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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