i met a boy and i'm in lovvvvveeeeeeee and we're going to vegas and getting marrrrrriiiieeeeedddddd!
let's be honest with each other here, that's about the worst idea you've ever had. you need to walk this one off.
there's a taquito in the driveway. If it's not yours I'm going to eat it.
I feel like I spend my weeks apologizing for my weekends.
your philanthropy is ruining my sex life.
well... just scaled a wall and entered the bar through the balcony. just making some last minute memories nbd.
When you give the bridesmaid toast someday at my wedding I need you to quote Ricky Bobby in some form. And slip in your sister has the vagina of awesomeness. That is all.
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
And the sky opened up and god said.... "WET T-SHIRT CONTEST!!!!"
If by some world ending natural disaster I get into an actual relationship with this kid, should I tell him the truth about the web of lies I've based our current relationship on?
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
UPDATE: IM NOT A TEEN MOM LETS GO PARTY
To this day, I regret not having sex in the bathroom
Whose dick am I looking at? There are too many possibilities at the moment.
well, unfortunately the rug burn lasted longer than the actual relationship
You got up in the middle of a sentence, puked, came out and poured another glass of wine and continued your story.
Randomize