PS - I'm in bed with an 18 yr old-am I a cougar?
No - puma.
He said i was a degenerate twofaced catholic slut and a grade a bitch. Quite complimentary really. i guess i shouldn't insult the red wings
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
think im gonna go get a six pack before class and sit in the back of the room...
If you could come over after class and poke me with a stick to see if im still alive id really appreciate it
Just pretend you're riding a unicorn through space. Thats how I deal with the stirrup situation at the gyno office.
I feel so much better about my break up knowing that he's having his 26th birthday at Rollar kingdom\n
The struggles of a small town man whore
Was your bare penis on or around my blanket?
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
How good was the sex? She sent me a fruit basket the next day.
I just found a samari sword in the couch. I'm about to take like 5 shots and pretend to be captain jack sparrow
I fucked that choir dude last night. he had the most strangely musical moans. it was like a Sound Of Music porno.
my grocery cart consisted of hershey bars, sour patch kids, starbursts, mayo, 4 frozen pizzas, 4 lunchables, and chips. clearly, i can't do this on my own.
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