i was shrooming and she was sobbing. i was trying to be sympathetic, but i could see the veins working like worms under her skin. and then her face stripped down to the muscle.
what was she crying about?
i wanna say it was the lack of skin on her face but maybe she lost her job.
Sundresses, hats, and big glasses. That is the greatest trick the devil ever taught women.
I'm scared. I feel like she's my mom and she just walked in on me having sex. Like she's "disappointed"
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I woke up on a futon in some strangers house. They were eating pizza and told me everything was going to be fine.
You swear the intervention is for her? I've fallen for that one twice.
French fry pizza
Are you brilliant or just really high?
Can't it be both?
After you tried speaking to him in whale you asked if you could see his "blow hole." That's how bad it was.
Let me tell you how my drug dealer wants me to take his girlfriends little sister to jr prom
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
Come help me clean and have sexual intercourse with me
Bring breadsticks
I threw up in my brother's Easter basket
He said it only counts if it ends up on the internet
It's just not St. Patrick's Day until someone pukes on your panties.
Think of the things uve done in the past. And ask urself "have I done worse?" If u answer yes. Its perfectly ok.
Randomize
