Some guy said that sham wows were the same as regular shammys. needless to say you had to be restrained. you kept trying to 'slap chop' him.
Just ordered a clown who does balloon animals. No backing out now.
No it's ok. I made friends with the guy that always wears helmets to the bar. His name is helmet Harry
I really want to shower but i'm afraid i'll sober up. My mouth feels like a stripper pole too...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
I like the wholesome side of you
I'm so goddamned horny I could use all my pent up energy to tear a redwood out by its roots.
I would of joined had I not blacked out last night and ran around naked breaking things till 4 am
Serious question: does drunken cyber sex with a stranger on omegle count as cheating???
Omg my butt feels so much better. Those suppositories are magic. It feels like Jesus fingered me in my sleep.
I just want an early 40-something dude who is vaguely unencumbered, professionally driven and wants to put me in a ball gag.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Dude they are making elephants out of dollar bills. I'm way too high for this
Dont ask questions just say words. where can i find plan b?
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Tbh I’m not a vibrator enthusiast
But I am godly
Randomize
