summer is not the time to consider going full bush.
come over
yeah sure
wait who is this again? my contacts got deleted...but tell me and ill be there in 10
You were so high at Ikea last night that you were convinced you could speak Swedish. The whole the time you were our navigator and when we got to the cashier you were hitting on the lady. When she gave you her number you told her you were saving her number as Inglfurfta cuaue she must be swedish since she works there.
i had a dream that i had so much marijuana that i didn't know what to do with it. i woke up and cried.
This hangover is way worse than all my relationships
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I know I said I was done dating 22 year olds but it's not my fault all the guys my age gave up on life and got fat
Someone said we're out of ice. You collapsed on the spot and started sobbing, saying 'but where will all the polar bears live". That drunk.
Just saw a woman in bootie shorts and a winter coat at the library. God. Bless. Prostitutes.
do you want to shower with me?
only if we can drink the jungle juice while we shower
You told me that they girl who was giving you a handjob under the table looked a little like your sister
Been trying to fuck him since december. Finally got him into bed and he was uncircumcised. Why do bad things happen to good people?
I have woke up on a strange couch, in a strange house, on another campus. Can you Friend-Find me and pick me up?
At this point it's more of an experiment to see how much actual bush growth is possible. See, being single can be both educational and surprisingly comfy!
He’s really fucking cute. Like, I want his penis in my mouth cute.
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