Denial is the first step to alcoholism…and I don't hate it
Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
How fat would you say she has to be before I can consider this a threesome
I called her a whore. 15 minutes later she gave me head at arby's while i was eating a roast beef. best afternoon ever
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
No. Do you know how much this carpet cost? If she comes over, you put down towels this time. i'm so not kidding.
i think i had to give the cab driver my id to get home last night because i couldnt talk.
Hes flirting with her via the sauce packets at taco bell....... I have no words
Your message cut off at "shit on the floor". Your life is incredible.
All together there was 318 cigarette butts in the pool... And my microwave.
Go forth my little lesbian, get your gayme on
i mean hes a break dancing puerto rican, how do you think the sex was?
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
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