my dad just told me that a lesbian kissed my mom at a bar last year
I ran out of diet so I'm mixing captain with a juice box. Being a mom has finally paid off.
batman tramp stamp. Dibs.
The family from the blindsided came and talked to us last night. The dad owns 68 taco bells. You would have been so inspired
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Is it sad that I have better conversations with his roommate before or after sex than I do with him in general?
Drunk texting with my high school teacher. This hurricane is bringing out the best in everyone!
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
The struggle bus crashed, rolled down a mountain, and went on fire, and I was on it ugh.
What type of condoms do you get ? Oh and do you want a slurpee while I'm here
Apparently I drunkenly agreed to help the homeless. For once, I'm not disappointed in drunk me. Four for you, drunk self. You go, drunk self!
I woke up naked next to my hot manager. Left before she woke up, and worked an entire shift with her. She has no idea.
Randomize
