How do u get a lost condom out? Like really lost... up there...
So, I'm pretty sure I just jacked off and my gf 17 m/o son caught me. IDK how long he was standing in the crib, but he definately saw the grand finale.
When you're on the hood of a car, 10 mph feels pretty fucking fast.
I think I get why guys like boobs so much. I just motorboated myself and it's fun. My boobs feel soft and squishy on my face.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
You're going to the beach with me so we can have beach sex whether you like it or not. Get over it. Kthx.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
Are you awake? Because I would like to know whether or not I should refrain from giving my evil laugh when I enter the apartment...
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
I just hope I don't wheeze during sex
honestly dont worry about it, its not the first time ive injured myself on a potted cactus during sexual relations with a woman
I would do everything over again, except the fireball.
I've come to the conclusion that my issue is I'm not fucking a guy with a headboard
I wonder how vigorously I can jack off in a one person tent without being noticed???
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