Fuck appropriateness.
Fucking Canada. At least when they wake up tomorrow they're still in Canada
I really shouldn't have to apologize. It was your own damn fault for opening a tab at the bar and telling me about it.
I want to bury your face in my vagina. Possibly by force. I will try not to suffocate you though.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
Well there's nothing more unattractive them a naked, soft man crying
Oh good your over him
other than the jail part I had a really good time with you
You pretty much isn't said it
Those words don't go together.
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
He gave me the "find somebody who wants to date you for who you are" speech while I walked around the house asking people for pants.
Just learned a valuable lesson today. Don't open snap chats from 3 am the next morning while sitting next to a small child. They totally saw your dick.
I'm pretty sure I lit a prostitute's cigarette while sharing a pizza with a homeless guy last night
Im just confused who has their mom break up with someone
I'm gonna go parent style on your ass... I don't ask much from you but if you could please just come get shitfaced with me I would really appreciate it
DETAILS
long story
just tell me the parts i wanna hear
weed, brooklyn, rough sex.
Randomize
