they started playing Don't Stop Believin' and you had a melt down because it wasnt the Glee version
i hope someone procrastinates by putting up the pics up...
sarah said she can't even post all of hers due to facebook indecency rules
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Tonight when I'm getting a bj from a stripper I'm gonna imagine it's you bobbing down there
Fuck morning classes and our weekday drinking habits.
He was all like, "I think ur the one that got away and I miss you." I replied, "I gave u a hand job once in your hot tub. No need to wax nostalgic about it."
My friend wants your phone number so you can teach her how to take a beer bong. She saw you doing them last night and got jealous.
Just tell her to open her throat. I don't want to talk to anyone who is jealous of someone who woke up this morning with a cat in their shirt as a result of that glorious beer bonging skill.
he said didn't have much sexual experience and then proceeded to tell me he is going to make me cum harder than my vibrator could
well, that escalated quicky
The first crop top of the year and you're rocking it in the ER. #ratchet
What is my life?
You'll be happy to know that the bruise is gone from my cock
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Putting plan B on my parents credit card wasn't the smartest idea
I'm shrooming way too hard to deal with your bullshit at this particular point in time
well we started off by chasing vodka with chocolate milk and ended up trying to befriend a crippled raccoon so that should tell you how our night went
I don't know what that means but it's making me want to fuck you.
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