Saw a dead body on the way to the casino. I think that's a good sign.
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
you gave the police officer your chanel wallet and said 'just keep it the i.d. is fake too'.
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
I feel like a fucking princess. Like an heiress of a kingdom of drugs.
You're just mad because I look hotter in my mug shot than you do in yours
can I share that I'd like to fuck him in my new car as a sort of car warming present to myself?
Yeah when we were together he never sent me dick pics like a normal boyfriend. It was always pizzas. That should've been my sign.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I'm at the nutcracker high as shit. It's so beautiful. I cried.
I put his pb&j sandwich in my bra and never looked back
have no fear, swaggie olivia is here to bring glorious gifts and horse dick to children
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
guess who smoked weed with their grandpa tonight. and no it wasn't me.
I found my parents stash of sex toys. You know my green one? My mom has it...in purple. I HAVE THE SAME VIBRATOR AS MY MOTHER
Randomize
