its like the voldemort of pregnancies, we don't talk about it
Brutal- a couple weeks back I had a 28 hr blackout and four day hangover. S'why I decided to haul it in
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
You made a list of reasons why you should be on fear factor. You came up with 2 reasons: "I like fear" and "I am fear"
She cut off the top of a watermelon and is now eating it with a spoon. She's more than half done.
dude you cant keep breaking into my house just to raid my fridge.. especially at 3AM.
we kept pushing you at the prospective students saying go for it, itll make them want to come here
you kept yelling THIS ONES FOR THE ADMISSIONS OFFICE and then youd go in for the kill
Also- bikini mowing was a horrible idea. One truck just drove by 3 times, turning around at the end of the block each time. My tan may be better for it but my conscience has been raped.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
I woke up at 4am on the floor covered in olive oil and fire extinguisher powder but all I wanted to know was where the rest of my booze was at.
As the cops are taking us away I see the strippers taking our DD backstage.
There is an alarming amount of food in my bra.
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
Do not, I repeat, DO NOT uncuff him no matter how much he begs. He knows what he did.
Adulthood is putting your bongs in the dishwasher because you're too lazy to clean them manually.
Are you ok dude?
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