I am one bad relationship away from having 30 cats.
Someone in my class is wearing shirt and on the back it says...National Bible Quiz Finalist 2006. Do you really expect me to find a guy here
I don't even know why I got my vag waxed
Ugh, tell me about it. As each day passes and the hair grows more, I get a little more depressed.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
me neither. i remember bell pepper tequila but not why or yelling
Hahaha, I forgot about doing shots out of the bell pepper
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
My younger brother just got high fives from all my guy cousins for fucking my best friend. I hate family gatherings.
So, my ex just showed me the drunk voicemail we left him last night. Started out with me saying "I think it's Shane." Then you took my phone and started singing a song about peanut butter, train tracks, and tequila. I joined in. On the upside, he said he's totally fine with being on the drunk dial list from now on. Soooo, another tequila night??
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
There were 7 of us cowering in the kitchen because you were swinging a giant, pink double headed dildo around like a nunchuk and hitting anyone who came near you with it.
how I know last night was a good night: this morning I found a bottle of tapatio, a bag of chicken and a bag of popcorn in my purse.
i asked my neighbor to open a bottle of vodka once and then we slept together
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
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