Seriously, stop being so datable w your movie/song prefs
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Dude I gave him a bj because he was upset about the NFL draft, if that doesn't lock it down, i don't know what does
So I feel bad, Ross is asking questions, I think they need to know it's a Spanish lesbian bar
She gave me head because I gave her my pack of cigarettes...And you said quitting would be hard.
I'm chugging Gatorade because i drank something called a trashcan and someone named Gianna diamond has my credit card number, and I think I might have ruined my life.
NEW RULE: NO INNAPROPRIATE CHOICES THAT INVOLVE GUNS. I LIKE IT. WRITE THAT DOWN.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
I have been drinking since 2. And I'm now chasing the cat around the house with a light saber. Anna's helping.
Intramural soccer game tonight. Be ready for blood. I haven't sobered up since thursday
I feel like telling him your vigina was older than him was not a good pick up line.
Just found out I made out with the 40 year old Captain of the boat at the barge party. On the bright side he let me drive the boat so at least there's that.
Just realized I chose a bacon cheeseburger over sex last night
Welp... sober this am and I still have a parrot.
The last time I went out with these guys I won an iced tea maker from a drag queen.
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