SEEEEXXX PLEASE
Why do you proceed to call me "Queen La Queefah?"
3 inches of snow, below zero windchill and i just saw a dude in a wrangler with no doors, shorts a beanie and burton snow goggles. God i love college in colorado
So he saw that playlist i made with his name as the title. i think he's creeped out that I have 106 songs that remind me of him
somethin' about having sex in my parents bed makes me feel like l'm finally an adult.
She just left after she spent the past 2.5 hours fuckin the shit out of me. I'll put that in the logbook as a cross country
she's just sitting here eating cilantro out of my herb garden and watching some show about ducks on tv and laughing, what the fuck did you give her?
I just reached for my seatbelt when I sat down to pee... Might be a little hungover.
i got two bottles of merlot and sorrows to drown, you in??
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Night just started and I've already seen a woman headbutt a brick wall. Unintentionally. Epic to say the least
Fuck these runners passing me on campus as I'm waking to dinner. With my huggie. With flavored vodka and rum. Aka yum
This will always be remembered as the Christmas I had 15 Russians sing christmas carols to me at 130am alone in a gas station while I was stoned on pot brownies
From what I remember I had fun, until I threw up, and lost my shoes..
You wouldnt listen to us when we told you there was no place that was selling girlscout cookies at 4:30am...
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