I dont remember anything after Tequila & Apple Juice. May have disovered the recipe for mental bleach.
You know how I know he's a virgin? He's wearing transition lenses.
things that need to be invented #43: vodka that also acts as birth control.
He booked his flight from Dallas already, no ticket to the game, said hes gonna bang some girl at tailgait to get a ticket, I had to explain that it will be sub 20 degrees F during tailgate, he decided to come in july instead, Texans are dumb.
At least you weren't that one girl in the bar that was letting everyone draw on her in sharpie. Worst decision I've ever witnessed.
I'm applying temporary tattoos with green beer, this is the life.
I dont have any paper so I'm writing class notes on my first response direction pregnancy paper. Judging eyes are all around.
What's the best way to say, "it's too early in our relationship to leave me at your place alone"? Steal something?
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
I should know better than to trust a man I've seen cry on multiple occasions to give me accurate sports information.
My lecture teach is passed out next to me. I think I'm doing pretty good for a freshman.
Yes but funny for a 45 year old hell bent on reliving her college days by giving body shots and hand jobs. Not necessarily in that order
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
Yeah, but having a dick this size has ruined 3 marriages.
If you can't trust the person at the taco cabana drive thru, who can you trust?!
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