If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Definitely locked eyes with the stripper who gave me a lapdance last night as she walked by me and into the Ann Taylor Loft in Times Square.
I just caught my mom fingering herself in the bathroom...Im moving out.
tiger just fucked it up for all of us...she grabbed my phone this morning and started asking questions.
I saved $70 from being to drunk to go out last night so I figured I could buy a new watch.
some guy just asked me if water gets in a vag when girls take a bath. WTF. it's not a wind tunnel!
I love having hate sex.
He seems to have a lot of things figured out and most of the answers involve bourbon
Technically he's married but he says it's "not like that" even tho his wife lives with him. Not sure if I believe him but I'm sleeping with him anyway.
You asked me if you had to go downstairs to get upstairs. And then you forgot where you were.
His roommates came in the room and were throwing snowballs at us while we were hooking up.
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
how do i act around someone who's shoes i puked in while naked and blackout?
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
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