check it out our google latitudes are spooning
So, I woke up to an empty bottle of scotch and a dead car. The last thing I remember are the strippers being mad at me. Awesome night.
Feels good to be wearing underwear again though...
I just had to blow my nose on a mcdonalds receipt in my car. Its time to stop doing coke.
We did naked snow angels in 14 degree weather, you can't tell me you had more liquor at that party
Good news, I found your other leg warmer. Bad news, I don't know if the pile of puke I found it in was yours.
If this outfit doesn't get me pregnant tonight I don't know what will...
Frats are adorable. They make mediocre guys think they're worth a shit.
...the American dream.
How do I explain the handcuffs and tanning goggles on our living room floor? There's rope too. The cats love the rope.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
We get drunk and make out in different places. Is that what love is?
I just shaved my "bikini area" into a fucking pizza slice
I put on pants and a bra for you and you never showed up. There is no forgiveness for that.
She was just trying to do dick voodoo. Pretty standard stuff.
He doesn't have much of a personality but he makes up for it with his sexual prowess
keeper.
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
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