he asked me if i wanted "a hit" off his inhaler. its definitely time for a new roommate
Your ass just called me, someone was yelling "awful waffle" and also, " I don't know who's hands are who's anymore"
Lesbian sex in an alleyway drunk.
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Well he just said "there's glass on the floor and it's okay I'm only bleeding out of my esophagus" so yes he's tripping
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
I think all the stress in my life right now can be directly correlated with never winning a game of Bop It as a child.
I found an inside smoking lounge. I'll be here for the next 4 hours. A nice old Canadian lady has befriended me and let me use her lighter. Fuck Hartsfield-Jackson AND this layover. I win.
Was I at least a good cuddler? Like at least honorable mention?
We watched game of thrones, broke up and I drove away blasting ridin solo while he dougied
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
It's Reggie from Taco Bell, send me a pic.
I thought you were dead but then you asked me if your tits looked good. They did.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
just spent the last 20 minutes cleaning out the soap dispenser. fuck. me. adderall.
Randomize
