There is somethin about your sexuality that makes my dick do jumping jacks when I see you
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
no where in the syllabus does it say "no alcoholic beverages allowed".
Just learned the hard way that dicks can bruise the back of your throat to the extent that you cant eat. You're dead to me.
I am currently google image searching dick piercings, trying to see what I'm getting myself into.
theres still like 7 beers in the gutter from the roof party we had last night. i dont know how we got up there. but we need to get those beers down.
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
From the guy that lifted you into a fan I'm sorry
I just recognized Courtney in a crowded Trader Joe's solely by seeing her ass. In other news, I survived the first round of layoffs today.
I'm not sure which feat is more impressive...
It's kind of awesome I can smoke with my parents and tell them about thetime we used listerine in that bong
I think I need to see a chiropractor after giving that blow job
60% of the guys I've slept with are on my holiday greeting card mailing list. I'm an amazing ex lover.
OKAY THAT'S CREEPY AND I'D PROBABLY ACCIDENTLY ORGASM
PS I almost downloaded grindr to see if any guys wanted to buy me chinese food..
She was sitting on the couch in his tux jacket...no pants, eating cold vegetable lasagna. Yet I'm the weirdo?
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