I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
im keeping my plan b box as a souvenir of my first halloween weekend in college
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
For my birthday I want you to get me in bed with Donald Trump. That is all. You have 3 months
im so hung over everytime my dog barks the sound vibration makes my whole body hurt
Are you still going to come over for your post Alcoholics Anonymous beer?
im just laying in bed, eating, getting fat, enjoying eating and getting fat, thinking about how i will probably have to get a fat boyfriend.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I chased him for half a mile, lost him then somehow ended up at his house. Is that still considered stalking? I WAS drunk.
Rumor has it that you want to bring me soup in exchange for a blow job.
His ex told me that she wanted me to "take care of" him but from the way she said it I couldn't tell if she wants me to look after him or murder him.
I bought a machete, tennis balls, and matches. How is this NOT going to be a great night?
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
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