If that was your dad, he is hot
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
You should have seen k-money last night. She was just hanging on to the toilet for half the night. By her fourth trip to puke, she started talking to it and was doing the voices for her and it. She kept saying "...we thank you for your continued business..." haha
You stood up and started yelling"Free blow jobs!" because you thought people would like you more.
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
It's sad because pictures are supposed to say a thousand words, and theirs just say 'fat'
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
Quick question... Can I call you daddy? Or would that just really made the whole 8 year age gap a bigger deal...?
I finally got the glitter off in time to get to the party and bang the bday boy in the bathroom while his girlfriend was lighting the bday cake candles.
Oh you know, the usual. We had a good date, I took her back home, she took off my pants, laughed, and left.
I honestly just wanna put my face in her tits and disappear from this plane of existence
The creeper at the bar just realized we have the same birthday and bought me four beers already. He walked off so I took his change and dashed, i'm bringing the case over now.
Should I bring my 4 pairs of bunny ears? Or is that too weird?
4 pairs might be a bit much
Actually I learned to fire a 357 Magnum at the age of ten while on my very first period
Randomize
