I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Let's just be mature adults about last night and never speak of it again.
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
my desire to fuck abstract ideas (bravery, love, popsicls,,) increases by 8bajillion% when I'm high
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
If you come home soon there's a stripper in the shower. Don't be alarmed
So we played the stone cold theme song and continued to chug 2 beers at once and everyone just looked in shock
I still regret not being there for your blackout into the dumpster last year
I miss her, but also fucked her ex boyfriend.... So there's that
Yeah you burned that bridge with your vagina
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
Um. Did you take a picture of me with a giant dildo after we went bowling?
When the state fair security guard came to yell at her for having outside food and drink she threatened to kick him if he tried to stop her and then she proceeded to chug the whole bottle.
classic
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Is it ok that I asked him half way through sex why he hadn't accepted my friend request yet?
I remember turning to Jon after doing a line of coke and saying "I was a Girl Scout"
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