I took shrooms, thc and molly but its okay i'm surrounded by freaks
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
I looked at my arm when I woke up..I guess after 8 tally marks I said fuck it and wrote "too much"
Chinese roommate asked me this a.m when u left if all girls here have multiple boyfriends..
We talk about tequila and blow jobs the way that normal people talk about the news and the weather.
I might've decided it was a good idea to try to steal all of the pool balls at the pub... I apologize in advance that we now need to become regulars somewhere (anywhere) else.
She had one unshaved part on her vagina that she called "the soul patch" I just didn't know what to think
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
Notice how both of our plans for hooking up with these guys involve getting them drunk?
Oh my God, we're like men but with great boobs.
I need to reevaluate. My boss gave me drug money. I overslept on my couch. And I had my student teacher go to McDonald's and get an egg mcmuffin for me.
We started a fund for a baby in a wine glass, I think we're pretty responsible.
Wow. The LSU Tennessee game is on here and the LSU cheerleaders are stupid hot. Its weird having a hard on. At a bar. On a Wednesday. By yourself.
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Sorry I blacked out in bed
it was real late and you were brushing your teeth with miller light. it was bound to happen.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize
