He's telling me stories about how he made out with a 14 yr old when he was 22. I'm going home.
his logic is that since hes already cheated on her w me its doesnt count
Do I need to let your sister outside to go pee or anything before I leave?
You were so drunk last night you typed www.face.come/cheese.com as if you were logging into facebook.
I'm literally partying with O.J. Simpson's son right now. I don't know what to make of this.
Just watched a drug bust from the Ralphs parking lot while listening to Frank Sinatra. Happy Valentine's Day.
He pretended my clit ring was a door knocker.
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
His and hers buttplugs were a resounding success. Tru luv
my head feels like a yellow yolk spinning in a circle at the bottom of the bowl.. i may have a concussion, love auto correct
Seriously, though. As long as it's attached to you and is not a vagina, I will not be disappointed.
This is the best thing we've done since that time we started a religion
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
Anal on new furniture sounds like a quickest way to violate a warranty
Randomize
