I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I'M GETTING MARRIED!
YOU'RE STILL MARRIED!
A disheveled girl in front of me just looked down, shrieked, and yelled to the girl next to her "what is this" while pointing at two large white stains near the crotch of her black jeans. I love that Thursdays are weekends, it makes awesome Friday mornings
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
When that rick ross song came on he started ripping up dollar bills and pouring out drinks on the floor. I'm all for ignorance but it was a little excessive for a wedding
I'm not really made for random hookups.. i'm like a swan.. i don't wanna have random swan sex. i just wanna have one swan hubby and fly around the world together and eat bread that people throw at us..
I legitimately thought I was gonna die getting finger banged to ja rule in the back of your car last night.
I ate you ate to the whole david gray album
I'm floating on a 30mph cloud right now not giving a fuck
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Drunk me started making nachos apparently but never got to the part with the cheese. There are chips everywhere
Shotgunning beers in the shower. Mom would be proud.
I wiped my ass with a McDonalds wrapper. I've hit an all time low. Sorry for my impatience
i have a serious question for you... Why I am i not wearing any pants?
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