there were no ball for pong so he bought cat toys..... they had bells in them
She is sleeping in a dress because she's too drunk to put "real clothes" on
Good call on the strip club last night. Everytime i smell some flowery candle or air freshener I get transported back to having my face firmly planted in Riah and Desire's tits.
You're welcome.
You told my mom you were going to "Raw Dawg some randoms." That Drunk.
I can't blame him for thinking that then, placing a cone shaped potato chip on the tip of his penis post bj is not a normal act of love
I decided to let him keep the rest of my good weed as an "I'm sorry for being a drunk ass ho" consolation prize.
Well, my family didn't see me in my drunken super slut state at Summerfest, so there must be a God.
Just got home. Taking a quick shower. I smell like sex and chorizo. Dont ask.
I got unbelievably drunk yesterday, need some time off. Apparently pulling your balls out to make your buddy's girlfriend miss beerpong shots is frowned upon.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
I am playing in the snow in my bunny outfit. GET OVER HERE
I threw up outside. Then I peed got off the toilet and threw up. While I threw up u pulled up my pants. Not my best moment
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
I see more hoeing in ur future
Randomize
