The cab driver just finished telling me how leaving community college after one month was the best desicion he ever made.
Somehow I gave him blood blisters on his dick...I don't know if I'm that good or that bad.
i just successfully used the word "hymen" in a paper...welcome to senior seminar in lit.
Some one left their pants in the elevator.
we've been together for three years, and i still get excited when i know i'm going to give him a blow job. it's that kind of love
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
How do the freshmen here NOT understand the tricks we are playing on them by now? Doesn't bode well for grad numbers. Idiots.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
How do I tell my Dad that in the picture he has of me and my brother as the background of his phone we were both rolling face on ecstasy?
He wanted to have sex in a church because he has keys to it from court-ordered community service. WHAT IS STANDARDS?
You can't say "my boobs are wonderful" and not expect my drunken subconscious to focus on wanting to see them. Btw-can I see them?
I have aggressive nipples.
So why exactly are your shoes in my freezer?
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Security showed up because apparently we were fucking too loud.
As your roommate I can attest that y'all do indeed fuck rather loudly
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