I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
Saying we were separated at birth, got on a ship and sailed here via onion barrel from Somalia didn't help our case at all....
He could tell i had a fever by feeling my tits. He gets docter of the year.
DOWN HORMONES. BACK.
He insisted he brought his alarm clock everywhere, and then the girl screamed "fuck French people!"
Other than my penis smelling like an ashtray, it went really well.
You were supposed to behave this weekend.
But... naked.
im glad to be known as "the girl you had sex with on a golf course"
I tried to bring you in when you passed out on the porch but all you said was that I "ruined your hope ands dreams of becoming an astronaut"
8 minutes into the New Year and and I've already sent a nude...new year, new me?
Yeah like stabbing myself through the eye with a coffee stir and bleeding out all over the office rug
I got snowed in at my parent's. everyone's asleep so I'm smoking a joint in my old room and watching Tarzan on a 12" tv.
They must be so glad to have you home...
good morning. i just did a walk of shame in front of his grandmother.
Help. Why am I so naked?
I visited the library for the first time in my college career tonight and I got laid. I think I'm gonna come back...
Randomize
