I've decided to sign up for a porn membership, but it's 10:30 and I'm going to wait an hour an a half because I don't want to waste a whole day of my month long membership. Fuck this economy.
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
he asked if thats how we do it in the states..like there's cultural difference in fucking between canada and the us..
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Rain ponchos don't count as shirts at the bar. FYI.
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
I've thrown up twice at work. Just casually, in the mop sink. Then continued to make someone a milkshake. Want some ice cream?
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
FYI, announcing your arrival at jail with "Hi,yes, I'm checking in? I believe I've reserved a bed, a 2 night stay this weekend?" is, in fact, frowned upon
Can we both just take a day off just to have sex? Is that acceptable as an adult?
There's no button for "gave my boyfriend's cock to a friend" on my intimacy calendar.
he's so hot I'd consider breaking the whole, "till death do us part," agreement he's currently in
Literally had sex in his grow room under a plant.. ganja queen .
After I chugged my beer the cop slapped my ass and said "atta girl" this can't be real life.
Randomize
