Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I wasted some perfectly good semen on her
It was her first time with a girl so I put on my tegan and Sara playlist to really get the full experience.
yes we did fuck in his chapter room. yes it was demeaning. and yes, they probably will discuss it at chapter tonight.
I just saw someone EAT a flashcard out of frustration. Finals suck.
I would personally love to see the surveillance video of me throwing my stuff inside, peeing on the sidewalk, then crying hysterically when I realized I locked myself out. Again.
Sitting on an airplane reeking of booze, sex and shame while surrounded by families coming home from Disney. This is not one of my finer moments.
I. Put. Them. Back. We are NOT making a habit of jail visits.
Who knew that "When in doubt, pelvic thrust" would end up being the best motto ever? In other news, I think I may have joined roller derby.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
He sat down, pointed at my Converse and said "I have the same shoes." I thought "I'm going to have sex with you by the end of the night."
I dare you to find another dealer that delivers bud to your home along with deep fried vegan burritos
After we finished having phone sex he proceeded to serenade me with Ave Maria. It was magical.
I have a bandage in my ass crack. In. My. Ass. Crack.
How I know I would be an awful mother....I just stirred the bong up with a baby fork. A literal baby fork....
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