physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
It took me 40.8 seconds to take a dump at her house, I know because I timed myself.
Let me guess--your parents are cousins.
i don't know how the hand towel got involved, but i peed all over it
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
He told me he wanted a penis beard so that he could look at girls faces when they gave him blowjobs. i have to say, i kind of admire his creativity
We could make it cute. Like "oh those two cute lesbians who are about five foot two who sell the cocaine down the street. You know the ones? With the Yorkies?"
Let me tell you the story of bicurious george
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
What the matter? A girl can't play some Super Mario without being accused of being high?
after you got high, you started to make guac with your bare hands and said: "there's soda bubbles in my legs"
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
How drunk was I last night?
You tried to unlock a door with your dick. That drunk.
Not the explanation for the cock bruise that I was looking for.
In this house, we have but one simple rule: DONT FUCKIN TOUCH MY STUFF OR I'LL CUT YOUR NECK IN UR SLEEP
Randomize
