i am officially better prepared for a hangover tomorrow than i was for christmas.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
At Grandmas for dinner. She is drinking a smirnoff ice. As soon as I saw it I had to stop myself from yelling chug.
Woke up to the sound of my own moans coming from the tv....evidently it was videotaped.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
One thing noone tells you about getting put in the drunk tank is do it barefoot. You get free flipflops.
Someone sharpied "COCK HUNGRY" on my butt cheeks last night. When the fuck did I have my ass out?
SUNS OUT COOCHY OUT
She climbed up the stairs with three brownies in one fist, two in the other, and one in her mouth. Also, she opened the bedroom door with her foot. I may be in love.
The medical term is prolapsed anal walls if you want to look into it with dignity.
I feel like that xmas present negates everything we were taught as little girls. Putting out DOES pay. God bless us everyone
I walked outside and found some random guy passed out on our front porch. We managed to acquire the 12 pack of lagers he had so it's all good.
The reason why I poison my organs is so that you guys can't sell them.
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
is it bad that im laying on a beach towel in my room with my lights on high pretending to be tanning on the beach in the summer?
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