Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I think drunk me is telling hungover me something... I just have to crack the code.
he just tried to lick my eyebrow. thats the deal breaker.
he wanted to have me eat skittles off of his body. he mad gay sex even gayer.
My boss just gave me full permission to come into work wasted this weekend.
dude,it's memorial day.not getting wasted=you're a terrorist
She's making tacos & sangria tonight. I'm sure that's how the pilgrims pregamed.
The house is trashed, there is porn scattered everywhere like an easter egg hunt and the blow up doll is sleeping on the couch downstairs. someone covered her up.
the fog machine set off the whole complexes fire alarm
Well, they emptied out the keg by the third kegstand for America.
I am dressed. And we didn't do anything. He's gorgeous and tall tho. Something nice to look at when I'm hungover
It's hard to judge what a reasonable amount of cereal looks like in the spaghetti pot. We're out of cap'n crunch and milk.
"you can only have my number if you answer all the questions on this trivial pursuit card correctly"
For real his Facebook page says he studied "sexual arts" at some random college I've never heard of. You've been warned.
Randomize
