He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
Flirting with the rich sleazy owner of the club: 1 way ticket to free sushi, drinks, and VIP passes. FUck! im better with older men than i am with babies and dogs
She said "You blew my mind last night." and I said "nah, I just blew my load." and her mom heard.
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
We haven't even started dating yet but I already decided I'm going to cheat on her
a garbage man just dropped off my phone and wallet. he found them in the trash this morning.
She clogged the toilet and got it out with a seven eleven bag. I tried to tell her no but she was convinced that was the logical thing to do.
max decided it would be a good idea to run down the hall and smack down the exit sign. now we are sitting in the emergency room, and he is wearing the sign as a bracelet
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
I think now I understand why people say my penis is pretty.
You straight up wore me out. This should be a proud moment for you. It's almost like my penis is asking for a timeout. But not really
if there is one thing you splurge on it better be nice condoms
If you saw or spoke to me yesterday can you message me. Trying to make a timeline of the day I was too drunk to remember
I'm the kind of gay who carries his anxiety medication in case the club scene gets too fierce
You left your phone here
Wait...
Randomize
