I need to remember that good judgment goes out the window after the 7th shot and the 3rd Lady GaGa song.
They are literally fucking next to the DJ Booth to a techno Remix to Pacman. She is going waka waka waka. WHY ARE YOU NOT HERE FOR THIS?!
He ran around the party with a broken foot/ankle with a gallon of Malibu yelling "it must rain coconut"
I felt so bad but my urge to be with you & drunkenly eat your face was apparently much stronger.
I have the starring role in a literal shit show.
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I fucked him twice and then he set me up with his teammate. This kid does wonders for me
I REMEMBER NUGGETS BEING THERE BUT WE WERE AT A TACO BELL
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
Idk what y'all are doing but I just want you to know I'm home and if I hear him say "slap it" one more time I'm moving out
does 2pm fall under the wake n bake category?
My ex boyfriend just amazon primed me a vibrator...guess I seemed stressed?
It’s easy for me to be professional, the tough part is finding the perfect amount of bitchy undertone
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
she was just meowing in the corner eating frozen chicken nuggets
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