Is it bad to mix sunny d with vodka if i dont have any real OJ?
I've mixd ketchup with vodka before and called it a bloody mary, so, no.
This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
Dude love is like an itch. You fuckin scratch it, then it itches more, then you scratch it and it itches more, and before you know it, there is semen everywhere.
you are insane
i really wish my pants would only unzip when im sober
he woke up with $200 in his pocket and had to buy his cell phone back from a hobo at the bus stop.
Set off the fire alarm in our dorm at 2:30 am last night. 150 Naked people wrapped in towels shared a bag of popcorn with me as we watched the firefighters frantically search for my burnt popcorn in the building.
OMG THAT WAS YOU?!
I need to get a life, I am either crying at every glee episode or just wanting to blow rails off photos of us
You're on Grindr at the STD clinic. I love you.
He's German, so by default he gets to fuck me.
Btw I'm currently writing a paper in a beer garden. Be proud.
Teaching my class, used paper clips to fix my hair. Too hungover to be a kindergarten teacher.
Had a crazy moment last night. Had to get up, run to bathroom, pop 3 Xanax, sit on bathroom floor and rock myself in fetal position. Not my best moment.
I have experienced an excessively hairy ballsack in my mouth...and it was horrifying. I keep feeling it in my mouth now. It's like hairy ball PTSD.
I smoked my last bong as the sun rose. It was magical.
If you could come do me into like a 12 hour coma that'd be great
Randomize
