OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
She said she didn't think she should have to shave either. Guess no shave November just became no sex November.
If we're like this now and women reach their sexual peak in their 30's, I can't even fathom what our futures hold.
I recommend you throw your keys as far as you can in one direction, your phone as far as you can in the opposite direction, and hold on.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
He asked me when I was coming to bed while simultaneously drilling a fart into the mattress. Don't fucking get married.
Yea I've gotten enough hickeys in my life to know what I'd look like with a neck tattoo. I think I'm getting a neck tattoo.
Come now. I'm bloody but I'll give you the best fuck of your life.
That unicorn pillow pet really made sleeping with my head in the toilet a little better.
My snow day: told Cam, "we're not dating today, we're just roommates." No bra, boxers, drinking whiskey by myself for the past 2 hours, yelling at The Ultimate Fighter reruns from 3 years ago.
You are the epitome of what awesome would taste like.
I paper cut my nipple reading mail topless
Sitting naked, eating lucky charms with rain boots on
I didn’t want to see that boob. I told her not to show me but she said “no, I’m going to show you”
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